Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
