Just cropdusted the office
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
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He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
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Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle