That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
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Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?