That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You could cut the tension with my nipples.