Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???

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(407): I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms??? http://tfl.nu/7lb6

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(910): View more from North Carolina

He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.

(605): View more from South Dakota

WTF??? Isn't he married??

(910): View more from North Carolina

Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL

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(910): He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding. (605): WTF??? Isn't he married?? (910): Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL http://tfl.nu/eb9x

Replies (19) Good night (1060) Bad night (4335)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.

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(603): My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state. http://tfl.nu/6i4f

Replies (43) Good night (5372) Bad night (1828)
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(518): View more from New York

I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.

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(518): I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly. http://tfl.nu/462q

Replies (88) Good night (4034) Bad night (984)
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(951): View more from California

So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.

(909): View more from California

dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?

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(951): So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito. (909): dude... how have they not drug tested you yet? http://tfl.nu/fx38

Replies (43) Good night (7074) Bad night (1100)
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(206): View more from Washington

i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.

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(206): i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual. http://tfl.nu/myfw

Replies (23) Good night (5811) Bad night (1900)
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(516): View more from New York

i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor

(1-516): View more from New York

did you bang her?

(516): View more from New York

seriously?

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(516): i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor (1-516): did you bang her? (516): seriously? http://tfl.nu/fyme

Replies (25) Good night (1981) Bad night (6429)
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(443): View more from Maryland

booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again

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(443): booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again http://tfl.nu/1mb1

Replies (13) Good night (6444) Bad night (1272)
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(516): View more from New York

yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...

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(516): yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye... http://tfl.nu/3it0

Replies (2) Good night (875) Bad night (552)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.

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(724): The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent. http://tfl.nu/afyt

Replies (12) Good night (1682) Bad night (790)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.

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(902): In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts. http://tfl.nu/zdfo

Replies (3) Good night (1137) Bad night (348)
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(831): View more from California

I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"

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(831): I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy" http://tfl.nu/ej7w

Replies (2) Good night (593) Bad night (307)
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(415): View more from California

Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.

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(415): Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it. http://tfl.nu/rry5

Replies (5) Good night (643) Bad night (360)
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(613): View more from Ontario

I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?

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(613): I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome? http://tfl.nu/18yi

Replies (1) Good night (905) Bad night (286)
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(941): View more from Florida

He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.

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(941): He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too. http://tfl.nu/ka0m

Replies (2) Good night (649) Bad night (356)

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