just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
