I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
