you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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