I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
