It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
