I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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