Whod you bang
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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