What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
