On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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