and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
We have started to decorate penises.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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