Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize