you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
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