I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
