I could have mohawked her pubes.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
