I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
