i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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