I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
