There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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