i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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