You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I have grass duct taped all over my body
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
