I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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