Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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