i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
