no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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