But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I love you. Go after that dick
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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