you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
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I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
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You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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