woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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