And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
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Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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