I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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