just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
