He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
