So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He passed out mid-signature
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
