i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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