and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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