The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
