so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
