all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
