I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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