Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
