You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
