im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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