Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
