Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
