Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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