how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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