you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
