Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
