You work out of a Hotel?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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