it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
