I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Less talking, more tequila
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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