i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
