absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
