You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
time to smoke my breakfast
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
