We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
