Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
