Me too!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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