the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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