Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
