I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize